3:34 am

I am over at amy's house now, on her laptop with her whilst she packs. Here to stay for the final night before she heads for Canada.

I haven't given her the letter yet. I don't want her to read over it whilst im there cos I know it will bring tears to my eyes.

She's with me now. Im going to miss these times.

I could really do with a wish right now.

Maybe I swollow my words. Maybe happiness is not actually that simple.

I was once happy, once thought my life was complete and once thought you'll always be there with me. How stupid was I to think of that. How stupid was I to think life does not change. I have realised how ignorant I am to change.

I dislike change a lot because I think of the effects of the change. The effects you have caused for me is huge. Words are only surface expressions, some expressions will always remain underlied.

You were my best friend. You are my best friend. I have never admitted to that because I do not know if you feel the same but after 7 years of friendship I can say for definate you are one of the most important person in my life. You are my best friend.

I understand you are still in the UK for two more years till you move to Canada for good but after two years what happens? I will no longer be 5 minutes away from you. I will no longer be able to spend as much time with you anymore. You will be far away from me in two years time. These thoughts brings tears to my eyes. I have never felt so consolidated and cold. Tears are no longer a point of emotion I can hold in, because of you everything has changed.

You do not understand how much impact you have made to my life. You were the person I missed the most when we went to university, you were the person I always thought about and the person I most looked forward seeing in the holidays.

What do these two years determine? I am so scared after two years I am hurt even more. Do I step away from you to be hurt less? Please tell me what to do.

I could really do with a wish right now.