3:34 am

I am over at amy's house now, on her laptop with her whilst she packs. Here to stay for the final night before she heads for Canada.

I haven't given her the letter yet. I don't want her to read over it whilst im there cos I know it will bring tears to my eyes.

She's with me now. Im going to miss these times.

I could really do with a wish right now.

Maybe I swollow my words. Maybe happiness is not actually that simple.

I was once happy, once thought my life was complete and once thought you'll always be there with me. How stupid was I to think of that. How stupid was I to think life does not change. I have realised how ignorant I am to change.

I dislike change a lot because I think of the effects of the change. The effects you have caused for me is huge. Words are only surface expressions, some expressions will always remain underlied.

You were my best friend. You are my best friend. I have never admitted to that because I do not know if you feel the same but after 7 years of friendship I can say for definate you are one of the most important person in my life. You are my best friend.

I understand you are still in the UK for two more years till you move to Canada for good but after two years what happens? I will no longer be 5 minutes away from you. I will no longer be able to spend as much time with you anymore. You will be far away from me in two years time. These thoughts brings tears to my eyes. I have never felt so consolidated and cold. Tears are no longer a point of emotion I can hold in, because of you everything has changed.

You do not understand how much impact you have made to my life. You were the person I missed the most when we went to university, you were the person I always thought about and the person I most looked forward seeing in the holidays.

What do these two years determine? I am so scared after two years I am hurt even more. Do I step away from you to be hurt less? Please tell me what to do.

I could really do with a wish right now.

It's days like this....

where everything stands still, just listening to the clock tick tock musically and charms of the piano playing in the background. Life feels limitless, i adore this feeling where time is no longer an issue.

I look out the window into the dark sky, hoping to see the moon. But it is not there. From a very young age, a little girl i was, i would follow the moon. He was my guardian at night. I felt safe, wherever i went he followed from above. I knew he was watching over me. But nowadays, it seems so hard to find you. So everytime you are outside my window, glimering in a white bright light, i say a wish to you. Hoping everything will be better.

glimmering moon, please watch over all my loved ones!

It's those days where you day dream, think, reflect to the rythm of the piano. But it goes round in a continuous circle and too quick to hold onto the thoughts.