New objectives for this blog

I dont want this blog to sound daunting, because that isn't the point of blogging is it? Hopefully this blog will give a more rounded view of the person I am.

Objectives for this blog:

• upload more photographs, a place to showcase my photography skills
• do what i most enjoy, post up fashion pieces
• showcase the joys in my life

It's never too late to start again.

After going through a few months of hell, happiness and laughters I have randomly landed back on my blog. I always try and put in the effort to update you everyday, but I just can possibly remember. This brain of mine needs updating, if I want to be successful in the future I better whip into shape!

I've always wanted to start writing a diary, but I guess this is why you blog. It's the electronic version of a diary? I know i'm weird. I guess blogging is another way of talking to yourself, something I am an absolute pro in!

Currently I am on easter break, would not had needed it more than now! Second year of university has stepped up its game and yet I feel I have not stepped up for the game! The past seven months of university has made me realise and learn that I do not deal with pressure very well. Always start early is the key. Should not get distracted easily. But that's just the way I am.

It's never too late to start again.

3:34 am

I am over at amy's house now, on her laptop with her whilst she packs. Here to stay for the final night before she heads for Canada.

I haven't given her the letter yet. I don't want her to read over it whilst im there cos I know it will bring tears to my eyes.

She's with me now. Im going to miss these times.

I could really do with a wish right now.

Maybe I swollow my words. Maybe happiness is not actually that simple.

I was once happy, once thought my life was complete and once thought you'll always be there with me. How stupid was I to think of that. How stupid was I to think life does not change. I have realised how ignorant I am to change.

I dislike change a lot because I think of the effects of the change. The effects you have caused for me is huge. Words are only surface expressions, some expressions will always remain underlied.

You were my best friend. You are my best friend. I have never admitted to that because I do not know if you feel the same but after 7 years of friendship I can say for definate you are one of the most important person in my life. You are my best friend.

I understand you are still in the UK for two more years till you move to Canada for good but after two years what happens? I will no longer be 5 minutes away from you. I will no longer be able to spend as much time with you anymore. You will be far away from me in two years time. These thoughts brings tears to my eyes. I have never felt so consolidated and cold. Tears are no longer a point of emotion I can hold in, because of you everything has changed.

You do not understand how much impact you have made to my life. You were the person I missed the most when we went to university, you were the person I always thought about and the person I most looked forward seeing in the holidays.

What do these two years determine? I am so scared after two years I am hurt even more. Do I step away from you to be hurt less? Please tell me what to do.

I could really do with a wish right now.